This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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