found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
