I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
