I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize