We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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