So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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