I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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