office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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