btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
