Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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