Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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