so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
