do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
