So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
