Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize