I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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