...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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