Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
