I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
