i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
