Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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