In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You made out with two different species that night
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
