there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
