so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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