Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What a dumb baby whore.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize