i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
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