Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
