i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
sarcasm needs its own font
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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