My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
