There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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