he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she told me i tasted like america
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
you made out with another girl for some wings
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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