Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
