FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
