I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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