Heybabeimwearingurpanties
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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