So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
