He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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