Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
