i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My penis needs a shock collar
pray to the hookup gods
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
