He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
