Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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