I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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