If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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