I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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