She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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