4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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