No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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