my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
