Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am available for nakedness
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
