How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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