Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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