Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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