i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
