so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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