Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
