how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
