Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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