I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
